So I recently signed up to be an Amazon affiliate. Can you really call yourself a serious blogger without doing that?
I think not.
For the uninitiated, it works like this: The blogger links to products that are sold on Amazon. When someone clicks through on her link and then buys something on Amazon, the blogger collects a small — and I mean small — commission, referred to by Amazon as an ad fee. Most items result in a 4-8% or so commission. Buy a $10 book and I get a whopping 40¢. The person buying the item doesn’t pay any more for it than she would by finding the item directly. The law requires that bloggers put an obvious notice on any page containing affiliate links to let people know that the links are, in effect, ads. That’s why you see “this post may contain affiliate links” on blog posts everywhere. My disclosure statement is here. It’s not entirely boring, promise.
When I discovered what the Amazon Affiliate commissions are I was a little disappointed. How am I supposed to get rich on 40¢ a pop? They won’t even pay you until you get a minimum of $10 in your account. But Mama needs some Botox! And a nanny! And better quality wine!
So I came up with an evil plan to become an Amazon Affiliate Gazillionaire.
All I need is for each of my glorious readers to make a couple of high-dollar purchases like this each month. In fact, if just one of you Dear Readers buys one fabulous $500,000+ painting a year, I could afford therapy AND wine. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you can’t spare that much coin, a $10,000 handbag would do. Just a reminder: All of these Amazon links are affiliate links.Help Jenny become an #AmazonGazillionaire Click To Tweet
What are you waiting for?
Below you’ll find a carefully curated list of Amazon items I
may or may not be able to highly recommend. And they are, of course, affiliate links!
(p.s. If you don’t see the images on this page, click here to find out how to fix it)
Neil Armstrong’s Hairdressing Scissors and Comb
Can you think of a better gift for the astronaut fan in your life? There is a funny story to go with this here.Can you think of a better gift for the astronaut fan in your life? Click To Tweet
Sea Action, ca. 1940
This was hanging over the fireplace at my now-husband’s house when I met him. I made him get rid of it. I think we sold it at a garage sale for about $5. It seems to have appreciated quite a bit since then.Don't we all need a little sea action on our wall? #AmazonGazillionaire Click To Tweet
Date Night Watch
Armand Nicolet Women’s Classic 18k Rose-Gold and Diamond Watch With Black Alligator Leather Band
on sale now for only $18,450!
“A collection dedicated to women … with a perfect mechanism as complicated as a collectors’ or mens’ watch”
Generally, a woman’s watch needs to have a mechanism that is a bit less complicated than that of a man’s. We don’t want to tire that pretty little head of yours with thoughts of complex watch mechanisms!
Dasein Matte Croco Texture Tote Bag w/ Zipper-Lined Accents – Red/Black
$9,999.99 + $5.99 shipping
“Made of high quality leatherlike material- Top zippered opening- Back zippered pocket- Fully lined interior- Inside zippered pocket and cell phone pouch- Inside side zipper compartment- Dual shoulder straps with 5 inch drop length Material: Faux Leather”
Don’t miss out on this end of year clearance on a gen-u-wine leather-like tote bag! You could use that extra $10k you have hanging around to pay for a couple of years of community college for your kid, or you could buy this. Perfect for that impromptu weekend at the beach.Faux leather tote for only $10k? Count me in! #AmazonGazillionaire Click To Tweet
Generation Gap, 2012
$19,750.00 & FREE SHIPPING
A 3-foot long safety pin with a needle strapped to the end. I keep something like this in the car. You never know when you might have a wardrobe malfunction!Keep this in the car. Never know when you'll have a wardrobe malfunction! #AmazonGazillionaire Click To Tweet